Lovers

This page is an extension of my Las Vegas Friends page, with more lover-specific detail.

The short version is that I’m open to welcoming another woman into my life as a lover-friend if the connection is genuinely compatible.

I’m happily married to Rachelle, and our relationship has been open from the beginning. We have a lot of love, affection, honesty, trust, and freedom between us. Our marriage is not in trouble. I’m not looking for an escape hatch. I’m not trying to compensate for a lack. I’m simply open to more love, more pleasure, more friendship, more feminine energy, and more 4D connection in my life.

By 4D, I mean body, mind, heart, and spirit.

That’s the kind of connection I most enjoy. I want the physical chemistry, yes. I want the mental sparkle. I want the emotional warmth. And I want that deeper spirit-level sense that our paths crossing actually means something.

In the past I explored openness mostly through shorter-term connections, often while traveling or with women visiting Vegas. Some of those experiences were fun and lovely, but that isn’t what calls to me most now.

These days I’m more interested in depth, warmth, repeatability, affection, sexual chemistry, and room to grow.

I’m not inviting one-night stands here. I’m also not trying to cast someone into a rigid role. I’m interested in the actual woman – her energy, mind, body, humor, intuition, weirdness, softness, courage, and way of moving through life.

If this page gives you a strong no, trust that. If it gives you a yes, a maybe, or a curious little “hmmm… this is interesting,” you may want to keep reading.

What I’m Open To

I’m open to friendship, affection, romance, sensuality, sex, play, conversation, shared adventures, cuddling, kissing, laughter, and recurring time together when the connection feels good.

That could become an ongoing lover-friend connection. It could become something deeper. It could also become a meaningful shared experience that doesn’t need to become a big life structure.

I’m not trying to over-define it in advance. I’d rather meet the real connection and see what it wants to become.

I’m especially drawn to women who are self-aware, playful, affectionate, honest, intelligent, kind, growth-oriented, and courageous. I like women who can communicate directly, enjoy their bodies, think for themselves, and stay emotionally present.

You don’t have to be just like me. I like difference. But there does need to be enough overlap in values, attraction, and lifestyle that spending time together feels good instead of strained.

The sweet spot is simple: real attraction, real kindness, real curiosity, real respect, and enough courage to explore honestly.

Location

I live in Las Vegas, in Summerlin, and I like it here.

Local is obviously easier. If you live in Vegas, Summerlin, Henderson, or somewhere nearby, recurring connection is simpler.

But I’m not making location a hard requirement.

Rachelle and I didn’t even live in the same country when we first connected, and that worked out ridiculously well.

If you visit Vegas regularly, great. If you travel well, great. If there’s enough mutual interest and real compatibility, we can feel out the practical side.

I care more about signal than geography.

Who This Is For

This page is for women who feel some genuine attraction, curiosity, or resonance toward me personally.

Not merely toward open relationships.

Not merely toward sexual novelty.

Those can all be real doorways, but I’m only interested if there’s an actual draw toward me – my energy, mind, body, work, humor, values, and particular flavor of weirdness.

If you’ve read my blog, watched some videos, done a course, been in Conscious Growth Club, or somehow encountered my work and felt that inner ping of “there’s something here,” that matters. I tend to trust women who find me through my work because they’ve had some chance to pre-sense my values, personality, and energy before reaching out.

That’s how I met Rachelle. She found my blog, recognized a kindred spirit, and eventually switched countries. That turned out beautifully.

So I don’t dismiss the “I’ve been reading your work for years and feel drawn to you” pathway. It’s a real pathway. It has served me well.

Basic Compatibility

I’m only interested in women for this kind of connection. I have many LGBTQ friends, and Rachelle is bisexual, but my own sexual wiring is very clearly oriented toward women. That isn’t political. It’s just my nature.

You’ll need to be genuinely attracted to male energy and male bodies. If you’re technically bisexual but mostly into women, I’m probably not the right lover for you. I want to feel chosen by a woman whose body and energy naturally say yes to masculine energy.

You’ll also need to be okay with my age. I was born in 1971, so I’m in my 50s. This feels like a fabulous decade for this kind of exploration. I have much more relationship experience, self-knowledge, emotional stability, sexual confidence, and spiritual perspective than I did when I was younger. I also take good care of my health. I’ve been vegan since I was 25, I exercise regularly, and I like being physically active.

You’ll need to have enough space in your life for this. I work from home and usually have a flexible schedule, so making room is easy for me. If your life is packed so tightly that connection can only happen through endless rescheduling and apologizing, that probably won’t be fun. I’m not looking for a woman who treats intimacy like a stray calendar fragment. I’m looking for someone who actually wants to make room.

You’ll need to be honest. Not harshly honest. Not “I say cruel things and call it truth” honest. Just kind, clear, reality-respecting honest. I’m honest and intuitive, and I like honest and intuitive women.

You’ll need to like yourself. I’m not drawn to self-loathing. I like women with decent self-esteem, even if there are still tender spots. That’s normal. But if you habitually put yourself down, I’m likely to believe your assessment and spend time with someone who enjoys being herself.

You’ll need to be bright. There are many kinds of intelligence – emotional, creative, social, sensual, spiritual, musical, strategic, verbal, kinesthetic. I’m not looking for a standardized-test score. I’m looking for a woman whose mind has some sparkle and whose presence gives me something interesting to discover.

You’ll need to communicate reasonably well. English doesn’t have to be your first language. A lot can be communicated through touch, tone, eyes, breath, and body language. But words matter to me too. I love clarity. I love being able to talk about what’s happening while we’re exploring it.

And you’ll need some courage.

This kind of invitation isn’t for the timid part of you. It’s for the part that can feel a yes and lean toward it, even if your mind doesn’t have the whole bridge built yet.

Politics and Worldview

I’m politically independent, but Trump support is a hard no for my inner circle and relationship life.

We don’t have to agree on every political issue. I like independent thinkers. I like women who can surprise me.

But that particular worldview is too far outside the range of what I find attractive. I don’t experience it as compatible with the level of truth discernment, empathy, openness, intelligence, and heart alignment that I want in a lover.

If that snags you, we’re not a match. No argument needed.

Veganism

I’m vegan, and that matters to me.

My home is vegan. My values around animals are real. This isn’t a temporary preference or a cute personality garnish.

That said, you don’t have to already be vegan to reach out.

If you are vegan, lovely. If you’re vegetarian, plant-based-ish, vegan-curious, or simply open-hearted and respectful about this part of my life, that can work too.

I’m less interested in checking a label and more interested in sensing the actual woman. Does she have compassion? Is she curious? Can she respect what matters to me? Does she have a sincere relationship with growth?

If you eat differently in your own life, you can handle your own karma. When you’re with me, we’ll keep things vegan. Easy.

You may even find vegan living happier, sexier, and more delicious around me than you expected. I’ve been at this a long time.

Rachelle

Rachelle is my wife, my best friend, and my mate. She comes first in my intimate life.

Any woman who gets involved with me needs to genuinely respect that. Tolerating it isn’t enough. Competing with it definitely won’t work.

You don’t have to become best friends with Rachelle, but if you interact with her, be kind to her. Ideally you’d actually enjoy her. She’s warm, playful, smart, affectionate, and very experienced in this territory. She also knows a lot about women. If she likes you, that’s a very good sign.

I don’t hide other connections from her. She doesn’t need every detail, but she needs to know what’s real. If you need secrecy from my wife, we’re not compatible.

Some connections may be just between you and me. Some may naturally include Rachelle too, if the chemistry and desire are there for everyone. There’s no need to force either direction.

The larger field has to feel good. That matters to me.

Open Relationships

I’m not looking for a woman who merely tolerates openness.

I want openness to feel good to you, or at least sincerely interesting. You don’t need to be highly experienced. Curiosity is enough if it’s real.

I’ve explored with women who had partners, and sometimes that was easier than exploring with single women because everyone’s emotional needs were already well met. There was less clinginess and less pressure to turn the connection into something it wasn’t.

I don’t need exclusivity, and I can’t offer it. I’m not possessive. I don’t tend to feel jealous. I’m happy in my own company, happy in my marriage, and happy with love being abundant instead of fenced in.

That said, openness still requires care. I don’t do deception. If you’re in a committed relationship, your partner needs to know enough that our connection isn’t built on lying. I’m okay with “don’t ask, don’t tell” arrangements if that’s genuinely how your relationship works, but I won’t be part of sneaking around behind someone’s back.

Attraction

Physical attraction matters, but it’s not as visually predictable for me as people might assume.

Photos help a little, but not that much. I usually need to be in a woman’s presence to know. I need to feel her energy, hear her voice, see how she moves, sense how my body responds around her.

Touch tells me a lot. Kissing tells me even more.

With some women, I don’t know if there’s real sexual chemistry until we kiss. Kissing is potent for me. My body gives very clear feedback there.

So I don’t like to overcommit from a distance. I’d rather begin with curiosity and then discover what’s actually true when we’re together.

Sometimes attraction is asymmetrical. That’s okay. We can be kind about it.

Touch

I love touch.

Cuddling, kissing, caressing, hand-holding, massage, head scratchings, slow affection, playful nibbling, long hugs – all of that is very much my language.

I’m comfortable with touch early when there’s mutual interest. I’d often love to meet for a cuddle-chat the first time, where we simply hold each other and talk. That may be too fast for some women, and that’s okay. We can slow down.

But if you’re not physically affectionate, you’re probably not a match for me. Touch communicates too much for me to treat it as optional.

One of my favorite feelings is melting into a woman while we talk, laugh, breathe, and let our bodies get to know each other before our minds try to over-manage everything.

The body is often wiser than the mental space upstairs.

Sex

I enjoy sex as a full-body, full-heart, full-spirit experience.

I’m not interested in disconnected, mechanical sex. Lust without love doesn’t appeal much. Love without lust is sweet, but not what this page is about. The combination is delicious.

I like generosity. I like affection. I like playfulness. I like slowness. I like deep kissing. I like a woman who enjoys being enjoyed.

I also love D/s play.

My favorite role is leading. I love being called Master. That’s my #1 turn-on. If that’s a hard no for you, then sexual chemistry probably won’t go very far between us.

This doesn’t mean I want harshness, pain, humiliation, or heavy BDSM. I’m not into sadism or masochism. My flavor is more playful, affectionate, warm, commanding, sensual, and fun. I like lazy kink. A collar or choker on you? Yes. Elaborate rope projects? Not so much.

You don’t have to be submissive in every area of life. I’m not looking for a doormat. I like smart, capable, self-respecting women. But sexually, I’m very turned on by a woman who enjoys surrendering, being led, being claimed in play, and letting me enjoy her.

If you’re sincerely curious but inexperienced, that can be wonderful. Enthusiasm matters more than expertise.

I also enjoy oral sex, giving and receiving. Skill can be learned. Desire matters more.

And yes, hygiene and grooming matter. Let’s keep the playground inviting.

Consent

Everything is by mutual consent.

That ought to be obvious, but I’ll say it anyway.

I only want to explore where there’s mutual desire and willingness. If there’s something I’m into and you’re not, we don’t need to make a problem out of it. I can explore that elsewhere, or we can explore other parts of the connection that do feel good.

One of the gifts I love most is when a woman, after trust is established, gives me broad permission to enjoy her body within our agreed boundaries. That kind of yes is beautiful to me. I like giving the same kind of access when the trust is there.

That doesn’t replace consent. It deepens it.

A broad yes only works when both people are awake, caring, and responsive. I want a woman who can tell me what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what she’s curious about, and when she wants to slow down or shift.

That kind of communication makes exploration hotter, not colder.

Threesomes

I enjoy threesomes, but only MFF.

I’m very into women and don’t feel any desire to mix male energy into sexual play. You can tease me about that if you like. Rachelle does.

MFF chemistry can be tricky to get right, but when it’s right, it can be tender, funny, erotic, heart-opening, and deeply bonding. I especially love the slow, affectionate, yin-rich version – cuddling, kissing, massage, laughter, caring for each other, and letting the whole experience unfold at a human pace.

It’s not like porn. At least not the good version.

The good version has more warmth, more giggling, more affection, and more “oh wow, humans are delightfully ridiculous” energy.

What I’m Not Into

I’m not into pain. I don’t want to hurt you, even if you’d enjoy it.

I’m not into drama. If your life is a constant emergency, I’m not your stabilizer.

I’m not into being anyone’s therapist. I’m very open to growth, healing, and beautiful shifts, but I’m not looking for someone who feels broken and wants me to fix her.

I’m not into manipulation, negging, jealousy games, or push-pull dynamics designed to knock people off balance.

I’m not into anal play.

I’m not into MMF experiences.

I’m not into elaborate bondage or ropes.

I’m not into smoking or nicotine vaping. Cannabis is fine if you’re into it.

I’m not into heavy alcohol energy. I rarely drink these days. My path keeps moving toward greater sensitivity, and alcohol usually pulls the other way for me.

I’m not into religion. I did twelve years of Catholic school, and that was plenty. I love the spirit level. I don’t need religion getting in the way of it.

I’m not into audition-style dating. Meeting in public first is fine and often wise, especially since I’m somewhat known online and prefer to be safety-aware. But I don’t like the conventional “let’s perform dating rituals while pretending we don’t know whether there’s sexual interest” approach. I’d rather establish some real connection and chemistry first, then go have fun together.

I’m not into swinging as a lifestyle. Rachelle and I have explored threesomes, but couple-swapping doesn’t call to me. Neither of us is interested in taking one for the team.

And I’m not into labels that become cages. Polyamorous, open, non-monogamous, lover, friend, partner – words can be useful, but real connections are too alive to be fully captured by a label.

Body and Fitness

I’m not picky about body type in the way some men are.

Attraction can surprise me. A woman’s energy, emotional openness, sensuality, movement, scent, voice, and touch can matter more than her proportions.

That said, health and physical energy matter to me. I’m generally most attracted to women who take decent care of their bodies and have a positive relationship with physicality. Yoga, dancing, hiking, strength training, running, walking, swimming – I like women who enjoy being embodied.

Some extra padding is fine. I’m not looking for perfection. But I’m not a match for major obesity or deeply neglected health.

I want a woman whose body feels like she’s in a reasonably friendly relationship with it.

Money

You’ll need to take care of yourself financially.

I’m not looking for a sugar baby, and I don’t need a sugar mama.

This kind of exploration is free, but it isn’t a financial arrangement.

Nice Pluses

These aren’t requirements. They’re just attractive bonuses.

I’m a Star Trek nerd. So is Rachelle. Star Trek: The Next Generation shaped many of my values around exploration, cooperation, intelligence, and alternative social models. If you can appreciate a good Enterprise-style life philosophy, wonderful.

The Princess Bride is my all-time favorite movie. If you love it too, inconceivably good.

I like geeky women. I like women who can nerd out about something – psychology, consciousness, language, games, music, film, tech, art, food, spirituality, Disney parks, whatever lights you up.

I’m a morning person. I often get up around 5am and exercise. I have some of my best energy early in the day. A 6am or 7am meetup would be perfectly normal to me, though not required.

I enjoy cannabis and psychedelics as conscious exploration tools. I’m especially drawn to micro- and mini-dose ranges, creativity, sensitivity, intimacy, and spirit-level perception. A cozy cannabis-cuddle session with the right woman sounds lovely. If you’re not into that, no problem. A woman’s energy can be psychedelic enough.

I love travel. Rachelle and I both enjoy it. I’ve been to about 15 countries, mostly in Europe. I’m open to traveling with a lover-friend if the compatibility is strong enough.

I love amusement parks, especially Disney parks. I grew up near Disneyland and have spent a ridiculous number of days there. One of my bucket list goals is to visit every Disney park in the world. If you have a healthy relationship with your inner child and would enjoy that kind of adventure, that’s a sweet plus.

Non-Issues

Your race or skin color isn’t an issue. Variety is beautiful.

Your income or net worth isn’t an issue, as long as you’re not looking for me to financially support you.

Your level of sexual or relationship experience isn’t a major issue. Experienced women can be wonderful. Inexperienced women can be wonderful. Every person is a fresh exploration anyway.

Your relationship status isn’t a problem if there’s no deception. Single, partnered, married, open, flexible – any of that can be workable if the situation is honest enough.

Introvert or extrovert isn’t a problem. I enjoy both.

Celebrity status isn’t a problem. I know some people in the public eye and can be discreet. I don’t need anything from your fame, and I don’t need our connection to be public. If you want privacy, I’m good at honoring that.

Privacy

By default, I’m discreet.

I’m publicly open about my interests and explorations, but I’m not going to reveal your identity or private details about our connection. I may write or speak about how my explorations affect me, but I don’t need to expose you.

If you want to share something publicly, we can discuss that. But privacy is the default.

This is especially important because women are often judged more harshly than men around sexuality, openness, and pleasure. I understand that, and I’m on your side there.

Trust

High trust matters a lot to me.

If you find it difficult to trust my intentions after getting a real sense of me, we’re probably not a match. I’m not saying that to shame you. You may have valid reasons from your past. But I’m not looking to spend a lot of time proving that I’m safe to someone whose system keeps insisting otherwise.

I prefer women with strong intuition who can read me accurately enough to sense that I’m on their side.

That doesn’t mean blind trust. It means clean perception.

High-trust relationships open doors that low-trust relationships can’t even see.

No Shaming

I’m not into shaming people for their desires, interests, history, turn-ons, or honest curiosities.

If we aren’t compatible, we can simply acknowledge that and wish each other well.

Human sexuality is varied. People like what they like. I don’t need you to like everything I like, and you don’t need me to like everything you like.

But if you’re going to shame me for being honest about my desires, you’re not a match for my life.

Mistakes and Repairs

Humans make mistakes.

A good connection has room for small misunderstandings, awkward moments, and course corrections. I prefer anti-fragile relationships where minor issues can actually build trust because we handle them kindly.

If something feels off, say so. If I miss a cue, tell me. If you need to slow down, slow down. If I need something different, I’ll tell you too.

Clear communication is sexy.

Separation

All human-level connections are temporary.

Some last for an evening. Some last for years. Some change forms. Some complete.

If either of us feels done, we say so. No ghosting. No chasing. No punishing. No turning a beautiful experience into an ugly exit.

If we shared something meaningful, I may miss you. That’s okay. Missing someone is not a crisis. It’s part of loving.

I want every connection to end, when it ends, with as much kindness and respect as we can manage.

Words and Affection

I like words of affirmation.

Rachelle and I say “I love you” many times per day. Verbal affection is very normal for me. If I like you, I’ll probably tell you. If I enjoy spending time with you, I’ll say so. I like gushing over women I adore.

You don’t have to be exactly the same, but if words of affection make you uncomfortable, you should know that I’m very fluent in them.

I also like public displays of affection when the woman enjoys them too – holding hands, light touch, affectionate closeness. I can tone that down if privacy matters, but affection comes naturally to me.

Pet Hair

Odd but true: I don’t have pets, and I’m often allergic to pet hair.

If you have pets, please don’t come over covered in fur. I don’t want it spread around my car or home.

That may seem like a small thing, but small things are still things.

Why This Appeals to Me

I love love.

I love pleasure.

I love women.

I love connection that lights up body, mind, heart, and spirit.

A good lover adds sparkle to life. She can open creative flow, emotional warmth, sensual aliveness, motivation, tenderness, laughter, and new dimensions of self-understanding.

Sex can be physically pleasurable, of course, but for me it’s also relational, emotional, spiritual, and developmental. It changes people. It reveals people. It helps us integrate parts of ourselves that don’t fully open through thinking alone.

I like experiential richness. I like variety without chaos. I like affection without possession. I like love without fencing it in. I like the feeling that life is generous and that we don’t need to clamp down on each other to feel safe.

I also love the spirit-level side of relationships.

I see aligned partners as fellow spirits exploring this human realm together. Sometimes a woman enters my life and there’s a clear spirit-level yes. It doesn’t feel random. It feels like our paths have opened a door for each other.

When sexuality is part of that, the experience can be especially beautiful. Not just bodies rubbing together, but spirits saying, “Ah, there you are. Let’s play in human form for a while.”

That’s the good stuff.

Please Bring Some Signal

If you reach out, don’t make me guess everything.

Tell me who you are. Tell me what drew you to me. Tell me what you’re curious about. Tell me what kind of connection you might be open to exploring.

You don’t need a perfect message. You don’t need to impress me with polished prose. But please bring some of your own signal.

“I’ve been reading your work for years, I feel attracted to you, and I’d like to explore whether there’s a connection here” is a perfectly good start.

If you feel nervous, you can say that too. I respect the courage it takes to reach out. I know it can feel vulnerable to express desire, especially to someone who’s being this direct.

If your message is sincere, I’ll do my best to receive it with kindness.

Get in Touch

If this type of connection interests you and you’d like to open a dialogue, use my contact form and tell me about yourself, what resonates, and what you may want to explore.

It goes straight to me, not to an assistant, so feel free to be candid.

If there’s a real match, we’ll feel it out from there.

– Steve