I made some offers to reality this year that it declined. My declined offers included planned trips to Portland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Milwaukee, Chicago, and Costa Rica. If the original plans held up, Rachelle and I would be embarking on about 30 days of travel starting later this month, including two wonderful multi-day events with different groups of friends, lots of touristy activities, probably an Irish excursion, and our first time at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Additionally I intended to do an all new public workshop in Las Vegas in October, perhaps even a Halloween-overlapping one like we did in 2010. And we’d be doing more ayahuasca ceremonies with friends in the Fall as well.
In January we were set up for a very creative year with lots of fun travel and social experiences, just the level of stimulation we like.
But then reality looked at our beautiful plans and said, “Nope!”
Reality can do that of course. We co-create our lives with reality. We can set goals and make grand plans, but reality always gets a say. It may allow your plans to unfold. It may actively support and enhance your plans with extra cooperation. Or it may decline your plans altogether and throw you for a loop.
Our January trip to Panama happened as planned. It was exciting to see ships going through the Panama Canal for the first time. The bug bites were vicious, but that just adds to the shared memories. Then sometime in February, our awareness of the coronavirus situation grew, and I began to accept that this wasn’t going to be the kind of year I had planned. I realized that my travel plans were done for well before the event organizers officially canceled them, mainly because I dove into the details and saw early enough glimpses of what was happening and where it was heading.
So then we invested in what we had left – mainly on the work side. I finished recording the 65 lessons for the Stature course. We did our annual launch of Conscious Growth Club. And we continued with life without all the travel and socializing. This wasn’t a big deal through the end of April since the first four months of the year were intended to be a creative burst of activity with no planned travel in February, March, or April.
It’s also been many months since I’ve done an in-person meetup, and on top of that, the cozy coffee and juice bar where we used to host those meetups went out of business due to the virus situation.
I decided to invest some of this time in other areas of life, including making many improvements to my habits and systems. I basically doubled my running time each morning. I refined my diet. I lost weight. I completed many business and personal projects. I did more 30-day challenges. But lately I’ve been realizing that I failed to incorporate a good substitute for the missing energy that I connect with travel and social events – the excitement, the sense of adventure, the exploration, the freshness, the fun, the playfulness, etc. I’m spending too much time dwelling in the known and not enough time living in the mystery. Life has become too predictable, and I haven’t been including enough spontaneity.
One thing I love about my relationship with Rachelle is that we often go on spontaneous trips. Sometimes we leave the same day we get the idea, but usually within 24-48 hours. We’re good at making quick travel plans and just going. It’s a fun part of our lifestyle. When we feel a surge of energy that wants to express itself this way, we like to give it expression. That creates some amazing memories. Somehow I don’t regret any of those impulsive trips, quite the opposite.
I realized this week that it’s time to set some fresh intentions to open up this area of flow. That stuck energy still needs to go somewhere, and I don’t feel the right outlet is present in my life right now. Eventually those outlets will come back, but I sense a lot of bottled up energy that needs a fresh approach. I’m just not sure what that will look like yet.
I discussed this with friends on some Zoom calls yesterday, and while there were many ideas floated like perhaps a camping trip, road trip, or rafting trip, none of them felt quite aligned to me. I’m also not interested in doing something that might risk other people’s lives during this time, so while I crave excitement, I’m not going to be reckless about it.
What’s fascinating to me is that just by acknowledging and discussing this problem, I feel that this energy is already starting to flow again, not into a direct solution yet, but it’s flowing into the possibility space in search of aligned ways it can manifest itself.
Just because the old offer was declined doesn’t mean the energy dissipates. It still wants to express itself somehow. Energy likes to move, not to remain stuck. So I like that this pressure build-up is seeing some movement again, like its request is always being answered, even before I’ve put the request into words.
Intention-wise, I might state it like this: I intend to receive aligned opportunities, invitations, and inspirations to safely reignite the spark of adventure in my life; to break away from the overly familiar; and to explore what feels fresh, new, and exciting again – for the highest good of all.
I accept that my old offer for expressing this energy is dead, but the energy behind the old intention remains very much alive, just suppressed. I don’t see an aligned solution yet, so at this point I’ll send this energy outward to seek opportunities, inspirations, and/or invitations that align with it. Then I’ll see what comes through.
The desire isn’t crisp yet in that I don’t know what form it will take, and that’s okay. I know that I can co-create the form with reality. Something will come through – an impulsive idea, a fascinating invitation, etc. I’ll recognize it by the excitement it stirs within me.
This isn’t the kind of problem I can solve purely at a mental level. It’s also not the kind of problem that other people are able to help me solve at that level. I’ve already received plenty of suggestions from friends about this, but none of them resonate on an emotional or energetic level so far. They all feel like “stuck in the head” ideas. It’s still good to unearth and process those ideas to get them out of the way and clear the slate, as if to move the misaligned energy aside. So now I’m holding out for the right energy signature – a solution that arrives with some excitement and which stirs something in me.